In the sixty fourth year and third month, on the fourth day of my birth I terminated the traditional role in the workplace, what most call retirement. I don’t like that term. It sounds too much like being put out to pasture. I don’t see myself as just grazing and chewing the cud from here on out.
Before the sun set on that day, before the sun rose on the golden era, my wife returned with the results of her medical tests. Cancer. Now let’s stop the presses right here. I hadn’t planned on vegging out on the beach or glutting on Netflix TV series, but I did think there might be a little of that, a little more ease. If I count picking potatoes in northern Maine, I’ve been working since I was ten years old. I admit, the picture I had of how this change of life would go was a little blurred, but I sure didn’t see this coming. Golden years? Really?
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t about me. I’m close and integral but still secondary to the situation. After all, I’m not the one with cancer. One thing I know, the timing of these two events was no coincidence. It was meant to be. The question we have to ask is why. What’s in it for us . . . or maybe others?
James says count it all joy when you meet trials. Many times I have spoken these same verses to mostly glazed over eyes. It just doesn’t connect. Most of us have not really been in the fiery furnace. Sure, we have all had our trials. Maybe we lost a job, been ill, had financial problems, marital issues, personal problems, but when it comes down to life and death, face it . . . the embers cool fast in comparison. When we do find others truly in the fiery furnace, it’s at a distance. It’s them, not us. We are sorry for them. We pray some non-descript prayers and then we move on with our lives. There is still a slight disconnect.
But then it isn’t somebody else. It’s you. Well-meaning Christians, probably like we did, come offering solace. “God is testing you,” one might say. “You will be so much stronger when this is over,” another soothes. Gee, we think. How lucky we are. Please don’t let your envy be so obvious. Face it. You are alone. Or are you?
Now comes the time to walk that talk we have been preaching. Do we believe it all? Do we see God in every situation? I have to admit, I never saw anyone jump and click their heels when a real trial confronted them and I don’t see us breaking the pattern. That probably confirms that the joy James refers to is something much more, something different than a feeling. It’s deeper. Not in the soul. Our soul feelings run the gamut, whipping us around in highs and lows, not all that trustworthy. It’s in the spirit where truth, knowledge and will dwell.
Faith and prayer now become less abstract as we struggle to birth all that spirit knowledge into something that makes sense on an earthly level. What should we pray for? We pray for a complete cure. Is that selfish? That is our human desire of course. Even Jesus felt the anguish in His soul at Gethsemane. But that was all it was, human soul feelings temporarily reacting to appearances. But it wasn’t God’s will. Jesus said, “Don’t judge by appearances but judge a righteous judgment.” So He didn’t.
I don’t have all the answers. God knows how it works out because it was all finished in His mind before it started. Our prayer is to align ourselves with God’s will, which is praising Him, knowing that it is finished and we eagerly await the manifestation of that finished work.
We have already seen the manifestations of God’s work in others. The outpouring of love has flowed out of the bellies of Christian other lovers like rivers of living waters. This is for them as well as for us. The love has been overwhelming.
And we . . . we are forced into total dependence on God. We no longer have control. Actually we never did. We knew that, but we had to be reminded. Our illusory dependence on ourselves, our abilities, our jobs, and our wealth reveals itself for what it is – clouds and wind with no rain. It has no power. It cannot save us. It’s where moth and rust doth corrupt. That’s all.
The real solace is this – this has not come upon us. It has come upon Christ. How, you ask. I thought this happened to me. Jesus said, “In that it has happened to one of these, it has happened to me.” I’m putting a little twist on Matthew 25, but take my word for it, it’s all the same. If it happens to us, it happens to Christ.
Do we believe the mystery which is Christ in us? Do we really believe Galatians 2:20: I live, yet not I, but Christ. If you do, then you will see that God has brought this upon Himself for His glory. You may have thought it was meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.
I would that God had placed this on me and not my wife. But that is Christ in me saying what He has already done. He has already taken it upon Himself. We may not know the exact outcome, but we know that if it has come upon Christ, we can praise God for His finished work. It is well with our soul.
Read The Lost Coin by Samuel Hayes Sherwood. A young man’s journey takes him on a path revealing Total Truth, understanding the mystery which is Christ in us.
Your words – so well put together – reflect months and months of prayer journaling along these same lines. Two songs kept humming in my head – “Let it be my joy to say, Your will, Your way.” And, “It is well with my soul.” Being joyous and well in the trial can only come through Christ abiding in me.
Absolutely beautiful, Christ in you! As I was reading through this, I felt God’s love, the compassion, and truthfulness He has for us. God bless you and His Grace upon you!
Loved this: “Our prayer is to align ourselves with God’s will, which is praising Him, knowing that it is finished and we eagerly await the manifestation of that finished work. God bless you as you go through this together.
God works in mysterious ways. There is always a divine plan. I believe in the power of prayers and in strong faith. God bless you both as you go through these difficult times.